Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I shouldn't do this today

I should wait a little longer to write this post
because today has been a really emotional day for me.

Carter went into the MTC this morning at 10:45 to begin serving his mission to Fukuoka Japan.

It's exactly where I want him to be.
I'm happy.

It's also hard to have him gone.
I'm sad.

Being a missionary is hard.
I'm worried.

It's also exciting and full of blessings.
I'm excited for him.

It's already a well established fact that I have a lot of emotions going on.
I'm a deep woman, what can I say?

Carter was my last child...and I knew it.
He was by far my most cuddly, attached child.
He was "cuddly" way longer than my other kids and would hug me and sit near me and liked being around me until he was a teenager.
I loved it.

Obviously that changed somewhat as he got older.
But he was always a funny and friendly kid for the most part.
He made me laugh a lot.

Now, don't get me wrong, he has also made me crazy.
He had me so stressed out last week that I can't even tell you.
Like all of my men (kids and husband) he is not really talkative, especially when it comes to his emotions.
I figured he was probably a mixture of nervous, excited and sad to be leaving his girlfriend (and hopefully a little sad to leave us too).
But he never said any of that...
he was just sullen and silent.

So, yeah, the last few weeks were rough.

But last night he was set apart as a missionary and it was a lovely evening.
We talked about the blessing he received 
We played games as a family
We read scriptures together as we do every night
We prayed together

And I went to bed feeling calm.

Poor Carter has a bad cold so he hasn't slept well for a few nights.
He's up coughing and sneezing and dealing with a runny nose.
This morning we packed a big box of Kleenex in his suitcase and made sure he had medicine to help him through while at the MTC.
It's unfortunate to be entering this new phase of life with a head cold!
Luckily he is less wimpy about sickness than I am so he's probably doing fine.

I tried to stay busy today so that I didn't get too sad.
I cleaned Carter's room
I went through his clothes to pack up the things I think he'll want when he returns
and donated the things that didn't fit anymore.
I also went through my own clothes and got rid of a ton of stuff that I never wear.

It was a good and productive day.
I have a feeling that it will all hit me tonight as I lay in bed and think too much.

I'm really proud of Carter and this decision that he's made.
It's no small thing to donate 2 years of your life to serving the Lord and your fellowman.
He will share the Gospel, he will do community service.
He will walk a lot and ride a bike in the heat and humidity of Southern Japan
all while wearing a white shirt and tie and a little tag that says that he is a missionary for
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.


  1. ...and as he serves, there will come into your lives blessings that you may not even be aware of unless you remain keenly aware. This we have seen countless times in the lives of our children and grandchildren as well.

    1. Thanks Larry! I know we will all be blessed by his service! You are such a great example to me. Frank and I discuss our future mission often as we read your letters

  2. Missions are hard, and I can't imagine how hard it is for a mom to send her kids knowing that. The day we found out Isaac was a boy, I bawled and bawled thinking about him going on a mission (pregnancy hormones???). You guys raised him well and it sounds like he's going to do great! But man two years is long and it's hard on moms! I'm not making sense but what I'm trying to say is I feel sad for you but I feel so happy for you too! I hope he starts feeling better fast, that's hard to be sick.

  3. It is hard to send them off, wondering how they are doing, how they feel, what they are encountering.... you miss them. Anticipation may be your next emotion... Waiting for that first email, letter etc. Then comes smiles laughter, tears and joy as you hear his stories... he will grow and so will all of you. He will be blessed and so will your whole family... and through it all you will still be Mom and he will still be your baby boy... Hugs to you all. Naomi Smith

  4. Great posts Debbie, sounds like Carter is a great kid, I always liked Carter and he will love his mission, I believe. I can see how this can be hard, Trey will be doing this in a couple of years.