Monday, May 9, 2016

The sound of silence

I really enjoy being alone.

Maybe it comes from being in a family of 8 kids where there was always always lots of noise.
Always so much activity around.
Maybe it comes from having four boys and all the noise they made.

But when I have a bit of time to be all alone at home,
I find it to be absolutely blissful.

I usually "waste" the time
by lounging around or
reading a book or
watching a favorite show.

Sometimes I think I should spend the time doing some cleaning or other necessary tasks
since I don't get those things done very well when everyone is home,
but I rarely bring myself to do that.

I just bask in the silence.

My husband is the kind of guy who always has music going or an audio book.
He doesn't really get my enjoyment of silence.

But, I really love quiet.

All I hear right now is the wind blowing occasionally outside.
A random bird in the backyard.

If I return from running errands
or arrive home from work
to find that there are no cars in the driveway,
I am always struck with a moment of happiness that I know I will be alone for a few minutes.

I occasionally feel bad when this feeling comes over me.
But it isn't that I don't enjoy my family.
I promise!
It's that these moments are so few
when I can just sit and be alone with myself.

I will soon have an "empty nest"
and I wonder if I will have so many more moments of this alone time
that perhaps I will not find them as relaxing.
Perhaps I will start to feel lonely
rather than peaceful.

I hope that is not the case.

But I guess I can always turn on the music or an audio book if I find that I can't stand the silence.
For now, though, I will just enjoy.

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