MIA

I've been MIA in pretty much every part of my life for the last week or so.

My migraines are completely out of control.

Every day I get one.

Maybe there are some days I don't

but I can't think of any at the moment.

Then

On the evening of my birthday I got

what I consider to be the absolute worst kind of headache

(at least out of the kinds that I usually get)

It probably has a name

but every doctor seems to call it something different:

Ice Pick Headache

Cluster Headache

Stabbing Pain Headache

and more...

But what it comes down to is that I feel like someone is stabbing me in the head

with an ice pick (or similar small, sharp object)

randomly and repeatedly.

It is always in the same spot on my head during an attack.

So next time it might be in a different spot

but while this episode is going on, it's always in the same spot.

Make sense?

Not really, but you know what I mean.

I can handle it for a day or so.

Then I start to lose it.

I grimace and cry and flinch and occasionally scream.

I say "I'm going crazy" a lot.

I am easily annoyed/angered/made emotional.

And nothing makes it go away.

I usually end up in the ER and they knock me out with meds.

Sometimes this works and it goes away after that.

Sometimes it doesn't.

This one has lasted the longest ever.

I'm on day 9?

I can't even keep track.

The plus side is that I have gotten some shots (at the doctor's office) and IV meds (in the ER)

that have given me 5 hours and once even 12 hours of relief.

Otherwise I might have jumped off a bridge by now.

The last few days I have had several hours without the pains

but they always return...

just when I start to think that it is finally over.

So, I'm figuring out how to get a few things done during those hours.

But overall I have not done a whole lot in about a week and a half.

Sometimes its hard being me.

But I feel like it also awfully hard living with me.

I'm glad I don't have small kids because the dinner situation around here has been grim.

Teenagers (and above) can fend for themselves.

They do their own laundry.

I don't have any words of wisdom or lessons learned...

But I'm still alive.

If a bit cranky.