Sunday, December 2, 2012

On living with Cancer

Generally I try not to talk about it much
and I try not to be a downer here on my blog
(ok, failing occasionally on that one)
But it is part of my life and I can't/shouldn't/don't want to ignore it.

You already know it...Cancer sucks.

I get a lot of people asking me how Frank is doing.
But what I find is that they really don't want to know
What they want to know is, Is he actively fighting cancer at this moment?
The answer to that is no.
He is in remission.
He is dealing with the aftermath of a bone marrow transplant.
It is a daily thing.
A struggle.
Painful and full of difficulties.

So when they ask me how he is doing I say "fine" or "pretty good"
because if I say anything else...alluding to the difficulties in his life
they, almost to a person, respond with something like
"But overall he's doing good, right?"
So to that I just say yes.
Because that's what they want me to say.

He's going to work as well as he can
He's even going on the occasional business trips
He's at home, not in a hospital.
His bloodwork doesn't show signs of the cancer.
He puts on a brave face as often as he can.
He tries to eat.
He tries to sleep.
He tries to stay warm.

But do not be deceived
Cancer sucks
It has changed his life forever.
and it affects him every single day

And I get tired of pretending that he is doing "good"
What does that mean, anyway?

People don't want to hear bad news.
No one.
Not even the people who don't have the cancer.

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