Physical ailments

I managed to get my "ice pick headache" during the last few days of our Mexico vacation. This particular headache is different from my normal migraines and I get it much less frequently, thank heaven!  But when I do get it, it is beyond debilitating.  I cannot function at all and spend a good deal of time vacillating between anger/crankiness and crying/screaming.  Getting randomly stabbed in the head all day and night every few seconds is very very draining.

The number one problem with this headache is that no one, NO ONE, seems to know what to do for it. I've gone to headache specialists, Emergency Rooms, Urgent Care, primary doctor...you name it, I have done it.  They try this and that and give me pain meds and whatnot which sometimes do nothing and sometimes "take the edge off" but nothing actually causes the pains to cease. They do eventually peter out on their own but have taken as long as 2 weeks to do so in the past.

This time I went straight to my headache specialist. Frank had a business trip right after we got home from Mexico so he wasn't around and Carter had to work so my parents stepped up to give me a ride. We joked about how it was a Thursday and I'm supposed to be helping mom but instead she had to help me this time. My doctor took me very seriously at least and looked at different types of headaches that this could be and really tried to figure out the best options for treatment. I was given an IV with various concoctions in it which helped. I could tell that the pains were coming further apart and with less intensity, which is a good thing, but they weren't gone so that made me nervous. Nevertheless, I went home to rest.  I got about 4-5 hours of relief before  they returned in earnest. Carter gave me a blessing that evening and I felt much better for quite awhile.

Around 10 PM I started to feel a stomach ache coming on, which wasn't totally surprising given the number and variety of pain medications I had been taking for several days now.  It quickly progressed to a long and horrible night of vomiting every few minutes.  I have no idea what caused it but I was grateful that my head pains were not bad as well, that might have pushed me over some edge that I don't want to go over.

I had to call out sick to work and spent another day on the couch feeling sorry for myself.

It's now Saturday and the head stabbing seems to be returning though its in the beginning stages which means it is less intense and less frequent...it tends to ramp up over time.

Why am I blogging all of this?  I don't know exactly.  I just have to let it out and "talking" about it seems to help somehow.

I don't want to be a person who is defined by my physical ailments.  I want to be normal.  I don't want to have to call out of work or ask someone else to teach my Sunday school lesson. I want to be reliable and I want to be a fun person who is excited to see a nice day outside rather than one who feels like it doesn't matter what the weather is like because I will be laying in a dark room no matter what.

So, yes, I'm still feeling sorry for myself. This too shall pass. I know this.  And right now I super ready for it to do just that.