What should I be when I grow up?

I have a confession to make.

I'm having a mid-life crisis.

I know.

I already had one in my thirties!

But this one is different than that one.

I have one child left at home

My husband has gone through (is going through?) a major health crisis

and I find myself wondering what it is that I should be doing with myself.

Oh, I have plenty to keep me busy.

But I feel like I should be preparing somehow.

For a career or something...

Frank thinks I should figure out what will "fulfill" me

whether it makes money or not

and go back to school if I want to

I feel more like I should get a job of some sort

But I've always been a nickel and dime kind of person...

Meaning, I think small.

I save change.

I work menial jobs.
I think in more of a day to day kind of way.

for example:

When I see a "help wanted" sign I feel like I should apply.

I have no desire to work at a convenience store but they have a help wanted sign!  

They need help!

He doesn't see the point in working some lame job if it doesn't make me happy.

and he has a point there.

But I don't know what it is  that I'm supposed to do!

The thing I love to do 

I am done with

(or almost)

and that is raise my kids

While I was raising them I had many other interests, hobbies, jobs and even went to school

but they were always my focus.

Now that I can put my focus on me, I'm at a loss.

The one thing I know about myself is that I'm good with people.
(My family should just stay silent at this point...
I'm way better with other people than I am with you all!  haaaa)

I want to do something where I work with people.

But there is a huge variety of jobs that work with people.

And I don't think I want to go back to nursing...so don't tell me that one.

I've really thought about it and I don't have that desire anymore.

I've lost it.

Gone

When I spent all those months in the hospital with Frank
I really thought I would get the desire back
I mean, I watched nurses for hours and hours every day.
 And all I could think was...
Ugh. I don't want to do that.

I know it might come back if I went back for refresher courses but then again, it might not.

And right now I am not feeling it.
So, here I am.

It's not like I have to decide today
But it's sort of weighing on my mind.
It comes back to me on a regular basis...
You are 46 and you don't know what you want to be when you grow up.