Sunday, May 23rd

 Somehow I thought I had only missed two weeks of blogging but, alas, an entire month has passed!

A lot of stuff happened, probably. I don't remember.

Dion had a heart attack (!) and worried us all sick! He's going to be ok, thank heaven. I reacted much worse than I would have expected but it took me right back to a bad place mentally, where I lived for some time when Frank was fighting cancer. I had to leave the house because I was feeling so full of anxiety. What I wanted to do was to go buy the biggest dessert I could get my hands on plus a few bags of chips and go eat them alone in my car.  I realized that this might not be the best reaction to a heart attack so instead I bought a diet soda and drove to a nearby park to read and feel the breeze on my face. It helped.  The waiting for news was just awful and I kept thinking of how stressful it must be for Summer and the kids. We were all very relieved to hear the positive results and that he will be just fine.

I had a nice mother's day although it didn't really include any of my kids. Weird. Branden sent flowers and a card. So nice...I'll include a picture. Austin, being in Wales, sent a text. Ryan and Kristal stopped by with flowers and balloons but I was out visiting my mom's grave so I missed them. Sad, but a super nice gesture!  Carter was out of town (running a half marathon with his wife...crazy kids!) but they stopped by later in the week with a cool, illustrated version of the first Harry Potter Book (which I did not take a picture of, sorry. Google it). Frank made me chicken and waffles for dinner and it was amazing.

As I mentioned, I went to my mom's grave (with all of the Utah siblings and families and Daren and Berit were here in Utah too!). It was a really nice time together and I'm so glad we did it. Although I had recently gotten a second chemical peel and my face looked awful. Of course everyone wanted to take a group picture. I looked like I had elmer's glue dried all over my face, seriously. I tried not to smile for the pictures to keep from having too many weird wrinkles.

I planted some flowers both in the front area and rear of the house. I tend to see the ones in the backyard more and they make me quite happy. I always feel like the front of my house looks worse than the neighbors but I do get my gorgeous peonies so that makes up for it. ha!  I planted quite a few flowers out front but most of them seem to be struggling currently. We shall see.

My new favorites and they are perennials!

Yesterday I finally painted our mailbox. I've been meaning to do it for years!  It was very rusted and looked awful. And then sometime within the last year, someone banged into the little handle to open the door and it was all twisted. I forgot to take a before picture though.  I figured that since our mailbox is encased in brick, I better stop the rusting before I end up having to knock the whole thing down. I have no idea how people replace the mailbox in this situation!

Frank used a wire brush to get all of the rust off and I taped it off and spray painted it. Frank also straightened out the handle so I'll reattach that once everything is dry.  It looks much better!  I hope it holds up.  Of course right after painting, the wind picked up and so now I've got a bit of pollen and fluff from the cottonwood trees sticking to it. Sheesh.

Next thing is to add new numbers to it so people can find our house when needed. I am probably also going to add them somewhere on the house itself. Just have to decide where and what style of numbers. That could take another year...

Couches and Carbs

I recently decided to take the big step of hiring an interior designer to help me with my front room. I cannot figure out how to do this room!  I need more seating. I want it to be comfortable. I want to know what to do with my huge empty wall!  I'm over the striped wall and want something new for the entryway. I've hated that light fixture for 7 years. I've been trying to pick a rug for like 3 years and still don't have one for Pete's sake. Anyway, after much hemming and hawing, I hired someone. 

Clearly I have watched too much HGTV because what I wanted and expected was some sort of meeting followed by a drawing or computer sketch of the possible design. That's not exactly what happened. The designer did meet with me here in the house and we talked a bit. I showed him the things I do like in my house. He commented on changes he would make (which all aligned with what I was imagining).  I  told him that I have no idea how this is supposed to work, but what i wanted was a drawing or something so I could gradually make the design come true. I don't have the money to just *poof* redecorate/furnish a room. He said he could do that but first we need to decide on the basics so we made an appointment to meet at a furniture store to look at couch styles.  Ok, moving forward.

The furniture store meeting was fine but in the end I was picking out couches and chairs for my room and getting quotes for cost. And the cost was A LOT. (To me. Don't go crazy, it's normal people furniture) These are good pieces of furniture, which I like. But also, this is the least used room in my house. Is this where I should be spending big bucks? I left telling them I'd ponder it.  I worry a bit that I'm going to end up with something that ends up looking like a showroom living room, rather than the eclectic vibe I like.  Though, to be honest, this could all be in my head because all we did was look at couches. I've been known to overthink.

Fast forward a week or so and I'm figuring out how I can pay for the couches but perhaps put off any other designing until I save up some more. I still don't have an idea of what the end goal is. I need a picture! I'm panicking a bit also because I DO NOT want to get into any debt.  I make very little money and at this rate, the room will take me years to fund.  I mean, it's been years already I guess, so what's the big deal?

So, the day that I was supposed to order the couches, I whined to my friend in AZ and worried that I was rushing into something I'd regret. She had some of my same concerns. And so...I just called off the whole thing. Quit the designer and asked for a refund of my deposit. Told the couch folks that I wasn't going to order right now.  And ate some carbs. Because that's how I deal with emotions.

Now it's been another week.

I've commiserated with said friend who is good at this stuff. I've looked at lot of pinterest pictures. And I've eaten more carbs.  And I've decided to try an online designer.  This way they HAVE to give you a picture because you are never actually talking to them!  It's way cheaper than a real life designer so I figure it's not much to lose if it doesn't work out.  I submitted my info and pictures and now I wait for results. 

All this for a room that I use for reading and talking to plants.