Foot surgery

Yes, I am having foot surgery in a couple of weeks. March 1st to be exact.
I'm nervous about the recovery and how I will manage my life while not being able to walk normally. When I met with the surgeon he spent a lot of time discussing the possible scarring I will have and I just kept thinking "who cares about that?!" It's my foot, not my face.  What I want to know is, will my foot stop hurting? Will I be able to walk and run? How long til I can walk normally again?

So, this all started years ago.  I remember going to a podiatrist with foot pain back in Massachusetts (so at least 5 years ago) and he told me I had sesamoiditis. Like tendonitis by my sesamoid bones (bottom of the foot, if you don't know). He gave me some shoe inserts and offered me a steroid injection which I declined.

Over the years this sesamoiditis has flared up occasionally. Whenever I get serious about working out, it comes right back and I end up on the couch where I really want to be anyway. I figured I knew what it was so I never went to the doctor.

But the pain finally got to be too much for me so I went to an orthopedic foot specialist. He x-rayed my foot and found that I have not only sesamoiditis but also two fractures. One in the sesamoid bone and one in the bone that goes to the big toe. Hmmm no wonder my foot hurts!

We did some things to keep the foot stable in the hopes of having some healing and he sent to me physical therapy. The pain never got any better.  So we followed up with an MRI.

Turns out that somewhere along the way, the blood supply to that little sesamoid bone was disrupted and now that bone has died.  Did you know a bone could just die? The tendons are inflamed and one is slightly torn.

So the treatment for this situation (called osteonecrosis) is to remove the bone. Apparently this little bone can be removed and there is not much of a problem. I don't totally believe this but that's what they say.  If the other sesamoid bone dies (there are two) then I will have a bit more of a problem since they act as levers for the big toe.  So, once I recover from surgery I have to wear inserts to take some of the pressure off of those bones for the foreseeable future. I have high arches and very tight calves which contribute to me putting more than the normal amount of pressure on my sesamoid bones.  Who knew?

Because of my painful foot, I have been altering my gait without realizing it and I have developed pain in that knee as well as pain and tendonitis in that hip.  I am a mess, I tell you!  The physical therapist says that being in a boot will likely exacerbate those conditions.  So by the time my foot is improving, I will likely have some work to do to get my knee and hip feeling better too.

I'm just dreading the whole thing!  But my foot hurts enough that I'm willing to go through it.

It makes me feel old.  And it makes me wonder if I should just accept being a pudgy middle aged woman rather than imagining myself becoming an athlete again.  I swear it wasn't that long ago that I could do stuff...bike, swim, run, lift weights etc.  That's not how it is right now and it sucks.

But also, I love being a couch potato.  It's a conundrum.

So embarrassed for *those* people

I will admit to being part of a current trend or craze going on...
and that is Marie Kondo.

I read her book ages ago and I liked a lot of her ideas but I will admit that as I read about the anxiety she felt as a child when things were out of place or the joy she felt in "tidying up", I couldn't help but think she might have some sort of undiagnosed mental illness going on.

Nevertheless, she has some good ideas for purging and organizing.
I have always loved to organize so it was right up my alley, truth be told.

At the time of reading the book, I did some things she suggested...I started folding my socks a certain way (though I never did the thing where you put both socks inside each other-I didn't need Marie Kondo to tell me that stretches out the socks!), I got rid of things that didn't spark joy, I started using some boxes inside my drawers to help organize them.

And then I pretty much forgot about Marie.

And now, she is on Netflix and everyone is talking about her again.  Everyone is trying to figure out if their jeans spark joy or not.

So, when Frank was out of town, I watched the show.
It got me going again, thinking I should do some more purging and organizing.
Her name has become a verb. I decide to "Marie Kondo" my clothes.

Here's the thing: As I watched the show I was embarrassed for and disgusted by the sheer amount of stuff those people had.  I know there are lots of people who have too much stuff and, yes, I admit  I am probably one of them.  But there is no freaking way I have as much crap as those crazy folks on her Netflix show.  When those people put their clothes in a pile, it was just plain ridiculous how much stuff they had.

So today I pulled out all of my clothes.
Ok, maybe not all.  I have some summer clothes in bins in the basement which I did not lug upstairs.  I only went through the clothes in my closet and dresser.  Oh and the few things that I have in the closet in the guest room.  And I didn't do my shoes which are also in my closet, the guest closet and the basement.  Perhaps you can see where I'm headed with this...

(and I don't consider myself a person who has a lot of clothes or shoes. Certainly my friends would never consider me to be a fashionista with lots of clothes)

The pile was embarrassing.

In the end I purged 2 1/2 trash bags of clothes.  Not the huge leaf size bags, just the kitchen trash bag size.  Still, lots of stuff.  I took a picture of the pile of hangers left after the purge and even the hanger pile was embarrassing.

A surprising number of things still had tags.  I can, at times, be an impulse shopper.
I did keep about 10 items that still "spark joy" but that don't currently fit me.  If they still don't fit me the next time I do this, they absolutely must go.  mmmkay?

Next, I believe I will tackle the summer bins and shoes.  No sense putting it off.

I might as well Marie Kondo the whole place.
I will be so freaking full of joy it'll just be unbelievable.